I’m sorry I gave you up when you were just a baby. But you peed on my bed dude. Twice. You ate my expensive gadgets and scratched the fuck out of my dates. Despite the fact that lady from the adoption agency bitched me out for returning you, I’m confident I made the right decision and you’re in a much better place. Running around some big lawn, peeing on children who are just as oblivious and misbehaved as you.
your old master