Sunday, December 23, 2012

Feliz Navidad, Maria

Little brown girl from my second grade class, I am sorry I hated the secret santa gift you gave me 20+ years ago.

The whole exchange has been weighing heavy on my conscience since there’s a slight chance that maybe, just maybe, your Mexican family was actually more poor than my Cuban family.

As I recall, you were all like: Feliz navidad, Kelly.

And I was all like: WTF Maria? This doll is naked.

And Mrs. Hernandez was all like: Kelly. Maria, is poor.

And I was like: What The Fuck Ever. I have lice.

But i still played by the rules. I had my parents buy some shitty gift at Navarro Pharmacy and said it was from Macy’s.

You on the other hand didn’t even try to give the illusion of a cool gift. I had to walk around school with a crusty-ass doll showin’ off her titties at recess, while you pouted your way to some sweet Lego set.

In hindsight, I should have filtered my emotions better and congratulated you on out-pooring me.

So from my family to yours, Feliz Navidad my friend. I hope your children get better presents than I got from you on that warm, Miami Christmas Day.